It feels so good to get back into the gym after 6 weeks 🏋🏼
Why so long? I took the time to work on my mental health FIRST.
I went into relapse after my mum was admitted to hospital and for 2 weeks I found myself in a binge phase all day, non-stop. Refined, sugar rich foods every 2 hours. I slept all day, cried myself to sleep most nights because I didn’t know “what was happening with me”, broke down at work and had multiple anxiety attacks – which were SO scary because I had never experienced them before. I felt like the world was against me and I was lost within myself, I couldn’t see beyond what was in front of me. If i were honest the last two months have been the biggest / scariest / most frightening and challenging times of my life.
As a child I was given no choice but to mature beyond my years because my family was surrounded by mental illness – an atmosphere driven by heartbreak, emotion, sadness and realism. Every day is never the same. Seeing my own mum go in and out of hospital, spending every Sunday visiting her and gifting her our drawings and craft projects we made at school; to then later on watching her go from being manic to depressed in under an hour, mental health has never been so important to me, my health and my future.
So taking a step back was exactly what I needed in order to “cope” and regain focus and confidence. I prayed and prayed for some happiness but in the end it was STRENGTH which got me through to today. As much as what I was going through, someone else is going through worse.
Mental illness will always be in my life which is scary, but I see it as motivation to stay healthy, fit, confident and strong emotionally and mentally.
No matter what you are going through, STAY STRONG. It’s okay if you feel depressed, or loose motivation, or have a day of unhealthy eating, you are human – not a perfectionist.
Everything IS going to be okay if you find the positives, talk and spread some love 💗💗